Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Little Rough Out the Gate

We have been openly multiple for quite a while now. Since we're just starting this blog, let's go back a bit, back to when we first started coming out.

First, let's start with Chris. Although he's ok with us now, he wasn't at first.
When Chris first encountered Rebecca via text message, after I had told him about us, he was insistent that we needed medication. It didn't matter that Becca wanted to live. It didn't matter that we don't have a single original (we were born plural), and it didn't matter that we were fine with being multiple. He was sure this was a serious medical condition that needed attention. I have known Chris for a long time, since high school. This, hurt, a lot. He didn't want to speak to Becca, he just wanted to write her off as some symptom.
I have no idea what changed his mind. I'm thinking he just started seeing how we interact amongst ourselves, and how we enjoy each other's company. Maybe he saw on our Facebook walls how much we all are against the concept of integrating. We don't see him much now, but that isn't any different than before we came out to him as multiple.

There was a friend of mine who angered me so much, I didn't care to remember her name. We weren't friends for very long when she ran in to my headmates. She would call or text and accuse them of kidnapping me, demanding they allow me front to speak to her. They treated my headmates like criminals. I'm not even a host or a core (we don't have those), she just thought that since she had only spoken to me, only I was real. She was outright despicable about it.
We had a talk about it. She told me how she couldn't get past the idea that I'm mentally sick and it was too much for her. She asked if she could only be friends with just me. I'm fine with that, not all our friends are mutual. However, she was to treat my headmates as human beings. It's not that hard to say "Oh, hey Lilly. When Mia gets back, can you have her call me? Thanks."
That's it, that is all I was asking of her.
She told me she wanted me to pretend they never existed. I told her "Oh, like this..." and walked away and refused to speak with her.
I'm not about to shove away my inner family for some friend who can't accept that people are different. Everyone in this system who had a run in with her had been nothing but patient and kind, even when she was hurling threats and insults.

Daniel Greenwolf and his girlfriend/fiance/wife (I'm not sure at the moment) was the worst of my friends. I knew him for 5 long years. Every year, I'd come to his house for various parties he would throw. There was always drinking, and I always got drunk, so I always planned to stay the night and often did. He had been with me through 2 or 3 girlfriends. I had been at a memorial dinner when his father passed away. They were trying to raise money with a raffle, I still have the necklace and earrings I won! His girlfriend was loads of fun, always nice.
These two were VERY good friends of mine.
Surely 5 years is long enough to know somebody and be able to tell them "There's several more of us". I did. He acted a little concerned, but I assured him we were quite fine. It was a long conversation over IM. I thought it had gone over alright.
Then, his next party came up. Him and his girlfriend contacted me and told me they had decided, after lengthy conversations between them and much research on the Internet, that I was no longer welcome in their home. It was too dangerous. I might have a hidden "alter" who might hurt people.
I pleaded with him to at least talk with me about it, let's discuss these concerns. He insisted I was 9 strangers. Never mind that he knew me, just me, by my real, individual name and knew it was different than the body name, for half a decade... I was one of these "strangers". I was absolutely devastated. Any further conversation, I was no longer Miakoda as I had been for years, I was just the body name now. I couldn't fathom how a 5 year friendship could just end, like that. I explained that if I had some hidden headmate ready to kill people, I'm sure 5 years was more than long enough to have noticed something. It made no difference.
Rebecca contacted him, attempting to show him who and what she was. He had none of that. He insulted her, called her only by the body name, and told her off.
It has taken me a long time to move past this whole thing, and it still hurts. I haven't had the heart to take his photo out of the digital picture frame full of "friends". I hope someday he comes to some sense when he realises we still have a job, we're still not in jail, and our roommate hasn't been murdered.

I know my headmates lost a few friends, but they aren't as ready to talk about them.

So, that was that. With those friends gone, we set out to make new friends. Now, new friends know about the klatch right off the bat. I often introduce myself as "Miakoda of The JC Klatch" or "I'm (*points to self*) Miakoda, and We (*gestures the whole body*) are The JC Klatch" or even as "Miakoda and Klatch".
What has this gotten us? Fewer friends over all, but the friends we have are true friends. None of this "I'm your friend as long as I can believe you're normal" bull.
We have some terrific friends. One of them being Jessica, who originally only knew Julie. She, and her fiance, see us as completely separate and has already started being able to pick up on who's front without asking.
There is Kerri, who we will be seeing soon. Even her kids know we are we!
Tabbi Cat has drifted from us for other reasons.
Aimee enjoys spending time with Katie.


There are also 2 other systems we've gotten very fond of. I'm not sure if they want to be named here, so I will let them comment. Both are DID systems, but seem to be well aware there's a difference. That difference is nothing to us though, they're individuals to us no matter what they say they are. ...and we love each of them as much as if they were members of our own system!

We've got some amazing friends, and we're always making new ones! This is far better than pretending to be singlet or hiding my headmates to make and keep friends! This is much happier!

5 comments:

  1. It's great that you can be open about it and write honestly on your blog of your experiences. Its so sad the way your old friend Daniel reacted. That's really hurtful. I've had that reaction before and it's one of the main reasons so few people know I have DID

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  2. We spend a lot of time explaining the difference between DID and Naturals. We never got that far with Dan, he just went straight to multiple = Sybil = murder.

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    1. After what's gone on lately with me losing someone who I thought was my best friend, I think I'm starting to get how much this must have really hurt.

      I hope nothing like this ever happens to any of you in there, ever again.
      - Dodge.

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    2. Something did happen again with losing who we thought were decent friends, and they wrongfully accused us of stalking and got others in an online multiplicity group we were in to turn against us. Seems even our own kind aren't immune to treating multiples terribly.

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    3. Something did happen again with losing who we thought were decent friends, and they wrongfully accused us of stalking and got others in an online multiplicity group we were in to turn against us. Seems even our own kind aren't immune to treating multiples terribly.

      Delete